Troublesome Events
by Zima Zimavich
Summary: Lithuania likes Belarus. A lot. She does not like him. But, when pushed to be personable, she'll deal with him maybe . Forgive me, this is dumb.


Lithuania was sweet. Really, he was.

But he was also an idiot. A huge, optimistic idiot, who kept following Belarus around like a sick puppy.

He also couldn't take a hint. She was aloof. She was cold. She flat-out told him 'NO'. She threatened bodily harm, and then went through with it. Even after she broke his fingers and promised more, he followed her.

And then came the texting and calling. At the urgings of Ukraine and Russia, she gave Lithuania her home and mobile numbers. To 'strengthen relations'. Belarus had ignored Ukraine when she asked, but since Russia had asked as well...she would do anything he asked. (Except leave him alone, he just never saw how much he needed her.)

Lithuania loved texting Belarus. He did it constantly. It made her want to throw her phone across the room and smash it to bits, but she couldn't afford that. She needed her phone in one piece.

He called her, too, every night. She stopped picking up after he offered to sleep on her floor, to 'keep the monsters out'. She was more than capable of keeping the 'monsters' out on her own, thank you very much.

One morning she checked her phone, to see if her brother had finally realized his love for her in the night. No such luck. There were, however, over thirty messages from a certain annoying Baltic. She called him to tell him "STOP IT GO AWAY", but he began explaining the dream he had of her the night before. She cut him off with a "I dreamt of you, too. You were in pieces in a pot, and I was cooking you as dinner for brother. Hang up." He didn't, gushed about being in each other's dreams and, before _she_ could hang up, continued with his dream. According to him, she was decked out in complete dominatrix gear, whipping him and dead sexy.

Maybe she could afford a new phone, after all. She would have to, since this one now lay in a sparking pile at the bottom of the wall across the room.

He would follow her everywhere. The only good part about this was the look on his face when she led him right to Russia. This often backfired, though, as her brother would instead be distracted by _Lithuania _rather than _her_.

This had to stop.

She wouldn't look at him when he tried to talk to her. He asked her to some political _thing_ in his country. Naturally, she said 'NO' and slammed the door in his face. But when he asked again (and of course he would ask again, how could she think he wouldn't?), Ukraine was with her. She pulled Belarus aside and told her, "He _really_ likes you. A lot. You should take this. You don't know if anyone else will show interest." _Of course _someone else would show interest! Why, she and Russia were practically married!

But then Russia asked her to go, too. "To make sure no one stole him", was his reason.

Of course, if her brother asked her to, she would. No matter how much she wanted to kill Lithuania.

The _thing_ was uneventful and boring. She spent the time staring at a pathetic-looking sunflower on the table, trying to summon up laser-vision to knock it's bloom off. She stared at a wall with unfortunately-shaped water damage. (It looked like a bunch of penises were drawn on the wall. She assigned them to countries. Of course, the largest was Russia's, and the smallest was Lithuania's.) She though about her brother.

She scooted away from Lithuania every time he scooted towards her. She would have ended up in her neighbor's lap (a scantily dressed older woman who had put _far_ too much effort into looking young), but one glare sent her scooting away as well.

She wished for her knife. Ukraine had confiscated most of them before she left, and the rest she lost to security at the metal detector. Lithuania had asked her if she felt unsafe, and was that why she carried them around? If so, he would protect her, of course.

Belarus wished she could drill it into his thick skull that she _did not. Need. To be protected. _From _anything._

Actually, drilling it into his head didn't sound like such a bad idea. She spent the rest of the night thinking where she could find a high-powered drill, and when she could invite _dear Lithuania_ over.

((Haha. This is mostly based on rl stuff. Actually, nearly all of it is. My mother told me to give in to this one guy because "I haven't scared him off yet and who knows when another will come around?"; this DUDE that keeps texting me _honestly_ offered to sleep on my floor and had a dream where I was "sexy and a dominatrix and had a whip and certainly knew how to use it"; this OTHER dude I know dragged me to some banquet where I kept scooting away, stared at the Wall of Dicks, and practiced my laser-vision, and...also that dude said to me, "Hey, when you take over the world, can you not put me in a gulag? I can be your court jester. I'll wear the hat with bells, but not the tights. Unless you want me to. Because you're in charge." He also asked to marry me.

But I'm all LOLNO I want none of it why are they so creepy. And I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS WHY IS THS HAPPENING))


End file.
